Do you remember the TV show Diff’rent Strokes from the late 70s early 80s? I loved watching that show when I was growing up. And I had a favorite line from that show, which I still quote to this day. It was such a popular line that it was used over and over throughout the show. Do you know what line I’m talking about? It was the famous line spoken by Gary Coleman’s character, “Whatchu talkin’ bout?” Anytime someone in the show would say something that Coleman’s character Arnold didn’t understand, he would respond, “Whatchu talkin’ bout?” For example, in one scene, Mr. Drummond, Arnold’s foster parent, takes Arnold onto his lap and says to him, “Now, Arnold, you did the right thing by calling the police, and you were very brave. But sometimes bravery can cause more trouble than not being brave, and so, not being brave can be a kind of bravery in itself.” Arnold, as you might expect, responds, “Whatchu talkin’ bout, Mr. D?” Arnold’s statement expresses confusion and shock at what has just been said, which are feelings we all feel from time to time. I think that’s why the line became so popular.

This line came to mind for me as I read our text from the gospel of Luke for this morning. In this story, Jesus has gone to the home of a woman named Martha, who the text helpfully specifies lived in a certain village. Martha’s sister Mary was at the home as well. Upon welcoming Jesus into her home, Martha immediately set about being a good host. Hospitality was an important value in Jewish society. She probably began to make food and gather water to offer to her guests. Perhaps she also had other normal daily tasks that needed to be done in the midst of that. Life doesn’t simply stop when unexpected guests arrive. So, Martha is running around trying to get all of this together because she wants to care for this rather important guest in her home. She was probably stressed and simply wanted to make a good impression on this popular rabbi who had graced them with his presence.

Mary, on the other hand, made a different choice. Instead of focusing on hospitality, she decided to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to him. She decided that she wanted to learn from this incredible teacher. This was particularly unusual in Jesus’ day because women were not educated. They did not study under a rabbi like many of the men did. Mary’s choice would have been rather controversial. What she was doing was simply not the right thing for her to do, but she chose to do it anyway.

Martha saw her sister’s choice and was horrified. Not only did she worry about the trouble this might bring upon her sister, she was worried about how it might look for her. On top of that, she was worried about all the things that needed to be done. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that sort of overwhelm, but I can definitely relate. In school, the feeling is sometimes called “syllabus shock.” This usually happens at the beginning of a class when you receive the syllabus, laying out all of the assignments you will have to complete before the end of the class. When we think about all of those tasks to be completed, it can overwhelm us. Having Jesus drop by unexpectedly meant that Martha hadn’t been able to prepare anything. All of the tasks she might have done the night before to be ready needed to be completed immediately. Martha was stressed, and seeing her sister just sitting at Jesus’ feet to learn from him, a place a Jewish woman shouldn’t be in the first place, made Martha angry.

So, she said to Jesus, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” Certainly Jesus would back her up. He was a Jewish rabbi and knew about the importance of hospitality and a woman’s role in society. Jesus probably wanted Mary helping her out just as much as she did. But Jesus didn’t do that. Instead, Jesus said to Martha, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” If Martha were played by Gary Coleman, I can just imagine her turning toward Jesus, scrunching up her face, and saying, “Whatchu talkin’ bout, Jesus?” Jesus’ words were puzzling. They broke with societal and traditional norms. Jesus lifted up discipleship over hospitality…even for this Jewish woman.
Thinking about this interaction brought to mind a concept put forth a number of years ago by a Baptist minister, Dr. Gary Chapman. You’ve probably heard of his very popular book, The Five Love Languages. What Dr. Chapman found through his experience with pastoral counseling is that individuals tend to show love to one another in five different ways. While each of us show all five of the types occasionally, we all have one primary way of showing love and one primary way of receiving love. Chapman’s five love languages are: acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch. What reminded me of this idea is that I think Martha and Mary are displaying two different love languages in this story.

Martha is showing Jesus her love through acts of service. She is rushing around trying to show him that she cares by getting food ready for him and his companions. She is making sure they all have comfortable places to recline and doing whatever else it took in first century Israel to be hospitable to guests in your home. It was an act of devotion for her, but Mary showed her devotion in a different way. The love language Mary was using was quality time. She sat at Jesus’ feet and gave him her full attention. She didn’t want to distract herself with tasks and to-do lists. She wanted to immerse herself in Jesus’ teaching. And it seems that quality time was exactly what Jesus was wanting at that time because, not only did he not turn Mary away, but he told Martha that Mary had chosen “the better part.” The love language Mary displayed was the love language that spoke to Jesus in that moment, and perhaps was his primary love language.
My question then is “What do we do with that?” Is sitting at Jesus’ feet and learning from him ALWAYS “the better part.” Should studying God’s Word and praying and listening for God be the only, or at least the primary, way that we interact with Jesus? To answer this, I want to go back to the text of our story, specifically to the original Greek. There are a few words in particular that I want to look closer at.

First, there are two times in our passage that the NRSV uses the word “distracted.” In the original Greek these are actually two different words. The first is in verse 40. The verse begins, “But Martha was distracted by her many tasks.” The Greek word here is perispao, which comes from the combining of two words: peri and spao. Peri means “from” or “about,” while spao means to “draw (or pull) out.” So, essentially, Martha was being pulled away from what was happening, pulled away from Jesus and his teachings, pulled away from fellowship with the disciples. And she was being pulled away by “her many tasks.” Has that ever happened to you? As I was sitting to write this very portion of the sermon, I was skipping out on our weekly pastors’ group meeting because I was stressing about all that I needed to get done. I can very much relate to Martha.

The second time the NRSV uses the word “distracted,” the Greek word is thorubeo. This word means something very different than perispao. Thorubeo means “to disturb, to make an uproar, to trouble.” The text tells us that Martha is distracted (or pulled away) by her many tasks, but Jesus tells her that she is anxious and making a scene. I don’t know about you, but that gives me a very different opinion of Martha. It seems that maybe it’s not that she is distracted so much as it is that she is a distraction to others because of her anxiety. Maybe she was even being a disruption to those who were trying to listen to Jesus. Mary, on the other hand, was doing the right thing. She was sitting and listening to Jesus along with everyone else.

How often do we, in trying to do everything, neglect the important things? And even more so, how often do we distract others in the process? We live in a very busy world. It’s very easy to get caught up in all of the activities out there. The options are practically endless. And yet… How many of us feel constantly stressed and anxious trying to balance everything? How many of us feel lonely despite being with other people all the time? How many of us feel unsatisfied despite being able to do the things we enjoy regularly? We have all these options before us and have a hard time choosing, so we do them all. But fairly quickly we realize that we’re rushing around so much trying to do it all that we aren’t even enjoying it anymore. Can any of you relate to that? Or am I the only one who’s had those experiences?

I have to confess that when I am feeling stressed like that, and I’m rushing around trying to get everything done, and I see someone who is taking their time with everything and soaking it all in, looking happy and calm, I get kind of annoyed. How dare they enjoy their life and not overwork themselves! How dare they just sit around at the feet of Jesus and listen to his stories and his teachings as if there is nothing else to do! And how dare Jesus tell me that they are doing the right thing and I am not! Seriously, whatchu talkin’ bout, Jesus? Aren’t I the one doing all the work here? Aren’t I that one making sure you have snacks and drinks for your little get together at MY house? Aren’t I the one behaving as a woman in 1st century Israel ought to behave? How then can you say that Mary, who’s doing no work, Mary, who’s sitting and learning from a rabbi even though that is not allowed for a woman, Mary, who doesn’t seem to care that I’m struggling, how can you say that she is doing the right thing?

But that’s exactly what Jesus says. And despite Martha’s and our outrage, it is true. Stressing and busying ourselves and complaining about our lot in life are not helping us. It is far more beneficial for our bodies, our minds, and our souls to rest at the feet of Jesus and learn what he has to tell us. That can be a difficult thing to do. I know it is for me. But Jesus says it is the “good part,” the beneficial part, the part that we most need. So, how will you slow down enough to listen to Jesus? How will you rest at his feet? That is the challenge before us today and everyday. May we all make time in our busy lives for the God that we worship and love. Amen!